Not too bad now, don'tcha know?

OK, here we go, the thrilling report of my trip to Minnesota, making 2007 my most stateside well-travelled year, having slept in 8 states, including my two home bases and an upcoming trip to DC. At the very least, I can check MN off my list!

I've gotten in the habit of writing down my first impressions, which usually just mean what strikes me about the people in the airport. Here's the short list:

• White
• A couple embracing as their adopted Asian kids frolic
• On signs, 'bus' is translated into Chinese, 'limo' is translated into Japanese
• More white
• Smiling Sudanese ladies serving me at Starbucks
• Rubbery jaws moving beneath layers of white fat

Here are the spectacular surroundings outside my hotel. Yup, suburbs is suburbs, no matter where you go. I snapped this shot to illustrate the pile of snow.

Plane travel is abominable nowadays. I used to look forward to the thrill - flying! - but now I feel like a cow in an industrial feedlot. Only they don't even give you food anymore! The thrill is gone. Still, even though I was seated next to a large gentleman in seat B, and had big mouths behind me, I was excited to get out of town for a bit, see the work my company does, visit a dear old college pal, and, as a treat, stay in a hotel.

That latter element was a bit of a disappointment: the place was not as glamorous as their website boasts, and the rooms were the typical low-ceiling, stucco, white light and darkness dwellings. I drowned my sorrows in walleye, the sweet pike found in Minnesota's 10,000 lakes.

One of the hotel perks was a heated, indoor, square pool, decorated with silk birds of paradise (silk flowers are apparently required in every hospitality establishment in the state.) I took some midnight dips, swimming in circles like a captive seal.

Both days of the trip were spent on tours of the programs and in meetings with regional directors and other executives. Apart from being exhausting and informative, I did get to have a couple of nice lunches- I never expected to be eating so much seafood in the Midwest. No thrilling pictures to share, but here's what passes for the outdoors around MN office parks: ye old atrium.

The highlight of the trip was a chance to catch up with the ever-enjoyable Brian Heller, one of my closest friends from college and as hilarious as ever. We sampled some authentic, Minnesotan Tex-Mex cuisine. I rose early on the second and final day of the trip to get to the little fitness center in the hotel, where, while watching the news, I confirmed that the weather is a focal point of Minnesotans' lives. During one weather report, a map appeared with several single-digit numbers on it. I assumed they indicated regions, until I realized they were the temperatures. December 7th and it's 3 degrees already? Not too bad, your typical local might chirp. Minnesotans have a reputation for being very nice, despite the weather. It's warmer in Boston- what's our excuse for being so cold?
Brian and I had some desserts at this Perkins, the Friendly's of the Midwest, (it was literally the only thing open at 10 PM on a Thursday) and I returned the next morning for breakfast. As I was tucking into my gingerbread pancakes, an elderly man on crutches tumbled right on top of me. I shrieked involuntarily, until I realized he might have been harmed more than I was. the entire restaurant stared. I scrambled to help him up, and babbled, "I'm from New York, I thought I was being attacked!" Scandinavian-looking businessmen in the next booth smiled.

With all the business stuff to do and limited hours in the evening, I didn't even set foot in Minneapolis proper. A shame, as it doesn't look like a bad town and there are cool things to do. But will I ever go back to visit if it's not on someone else's tab?

At the very least, I was able to get a glimpse of the men's room where the honorable Senator Larry Craig was arrested. That is, I'm pretty sure this is the one. But even if I'm wrong, I'm willing to bet that the real one looks a lot like this.